THIS IS FUNNY STUFF! Check out Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern!
About the book:
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
Excerpts from the Sh*t My Dad Says Twitter feed:
"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
"I didn't say you were ugly. I said your girlfriend is better looking than you, and standing next to her, you look ugly."
"Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."
"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts."
“The whole world is fueled by bullshit… What? The kid asked me for advice on his science fair project so I’m giving it to him.”